I know, I know:

I'm only sixteen. However, I've already got baby fever. It's going to be a long time before I'm at that point in my life. Trust me. I want to live my life selfishly and independently first. It's going to be a long while. How long is long, though? Like, what? 5-9 years? Realistically, that's not too long. So, I'm going to share my baby names and desires for children. You know? I think everyone, no matter who they are, longs to be a parent; whether they'd ever admit that or not. (:

For my first child, or my boy child (unfortunately, I can't make sure those go together. Well, I could; but I won't.), I'm naming him: Daxton Abolafia.

And for my second child, or my girl child, I'm naming her: Talley Capri.

Cute right? Yeah, I think so too.




Ha, I know a lot of this stuff really isn't all that interesting, or maybe it is, but it's a different kind of interesting, and for that I'm sorry. I wish all the stuff I wrote all the time was full of juicy goodness and complex words that spin off of eachother. That's simply not the case though. I use this thing as my personal record of things happening in my life, and sometimes that includes somewhat dry things. So, endure for the juice if you like, but know that this really is more like my diary.

G'night bloggers<3
P.S. I have a very irrational crush... (:

TIME

Moments weave and wave and speak and save
They live and breathe, give and receive
Look at your dim face in the mirror of disgrace
Do you see anything that you want to be?

Life trips and falls and breaks down many walls
It takes a hold of your soul with a tight grip of power and control
Step back from the stage and examine your own rage
Are you where your passion is?

Hearts leap and jump, studder and pump
They break and are broken, they take and are taken as a token
Fly by the wreakage of your past, there's a good reason it didn't last
Will you open yourself?

Will you open yourself to the time at hand?
To life?
To your own heart?
To love?








Don't not let go of something over which you have no control.
TIME stops for no one.

This is addressed to anyone that has broken a heart or that has had their heart broken:

Spin around, touch your toes
Discover a secret that nobody knows
Hold your breath and say a prayer
Uncover me, layer by layer

No one knows what they don't
No one loathes what they won't
I have a funny feeling about this

Though you do what you say
You don't say how you play
I have a funny feeling about this

So spin around and touch your throat
Discover the secret of all the lies that you wrote
Hold your breath and say a prayer
I'll uncover your grave, layer by layer

And now the song is at an end
Your impudence made nothing but a bend
In the fabric of my past
Thank the LORD we didn't last














I FINALLY BROKE MY WRITTING MOLD. (:

"I want to uppercut your head like two miles in the air." Haha(:

Can you smell the rain before it falls? Do you see the clouds roll in? Before the storm drops its mood, do you have any idea when it will all begin? Yes, you do. In the soles of your shoes and in the core of who you are, you know.

When you're surrounded by cowboys and their loaded guns, and you're out of arrows, and there's no where to run, did you know you'd be here yesterday in the burning sun? Yes, you did. Something inside you whispered and you heard it when it began.

In the darkness of the night when no one is around, and you have yourself to be with, there is no other sound, don't you feel so close to life just know that this is how it is? And you know you must just let life be? Yes, in those moments you will know. You will know inside that all you have is this.









One day I will be free to love and hate what I please,
But as of now, my caring heart still has me on my knees.
<3

I need a constant reminder

to never complain. When I'm experiencing the best part of life I feel like such a dumb butt for ever hating it. The ebb and flow is perfect as God is perfect and has left some things perfect for his children, such as fate. Fate, my friends is a very real thing. It's fate that I moved to blanchard. It's fate that I dated and dumped cooper. It's fate that I already knew Jonthomas and Kaitlin. It's all just fate. I'm happier than I've EVER been. Ever.(: I don't know why I am where I am. But I'm here. And I'm not questioning it or exploring it. I'm being. I will not have expectations, because they will be let down. I will let life happen to me, and I will love it in the end. God is so much bigger than little ol' me...

I wanna go fishin'((:
<3

I'm drowning in brain fluid.

Trading secrets to keep the sanity, I know my own and my own knows me. Living in this box of a world is nothing like a cup of tea, but more or less like making the perfect one. “What is the perfect cup of tea?” you may ask. This can be discerned by you and you alone. For me the perfect cup of tea is: [A brisk morning’s night flying on the tail feathers of a kite through the skies I long to see myself soaring through to eternity. Take a breathe that never leaves and leave it with your heart. I can not be what anyone sees but only something taken piece by piece, apart. Ringing, singing, and stinging comes the light of day and with it the power to love and pray. “Truth, be mine!” I yell. This circumstance can’t be partaken of and described as swell. Live and make believe that all is well. Spin in a frenzy of hope. Laugh in terrible chaos and forfeit the ability to stop. Send off an echo that resonates back to you. Inspire your soul with your own voice and bring your feet to stand on utterly and inconsistently solid ground. Teach your voice with your mind to be fearless and timidly unwavering.]




Help me say, “Good-bye.”

Dear Love of My Life,

Though I don't have a clue as to who you are. I love you. Already, my heart is unconditionally yours. I hope and pray and hope and pray that things are going well for you. As well as well can be of course. Because being well means being tried and tested. I want you to know that I'm here, waiting on you. I'm here doing everything I can to be worthy of you and the plan that has been planned for us. I'm so strained, so pulled, so out of my element and in it at the same time. I need my God right now just as I always have and always will. Do you rely on Him as much as I do? I hope so. I hope that you are just as human as I am. I know that God has something spectacular planned for me. I know that He does. I know he has someone special in store. And if not, all the better. For there is none greater than my Savior, Himself. Anyways, I'm just thinking about you. I really care about you. (: Can't wait to meet you, but I will.

Love always