I realized this evening that I have a terrible addiction.

I've realized that I'm very much so addicted to solitude. I knew that I thrived off of it before, but now I know that it behaves and breathes like an addiction. The more I'm alone, the more I want to be alone. The longer I'm alone, the harder it is to be around people again. And the more space I have to be alone (example: having the whole house to myself vs. having to go to my room), the more intensely I can become myself. Revelation: (You know, this is why I blog, because when I disect what I type I discover things about myself that I wouldn't have otherwise.) Maybe that's how I'll know when I've found "the right guy". Maybe I'll know when I can feel like I'm in solitude with him, when I can be myself as much with him as I can be by myself, when he holds me without sufficating me, when he smuthers me fittingly... Wow.

Running through my lines this evening was an event. I went straight through, successfully not looking, and afterwards was plunged into a valley of tears so deep that my mother conceeded to letting me skip church. I'm chalking it up to PMS, however, I've gathered a new respect and reverence for actors and my acting ability after that little melt down. It is such an emotionally exhausting exercize, yet so very worth it.

When is the rough draft due? That's a great question to be asking 30 hours (I will be forever cursed by the term "naked numbers".) from class time. The one class I had homework in, got neglected, but for very understandable reasons. I'm really excited about this essay, actually. I'm more excited about cider house rules though. I have to forcfully carve out time to make a noticable dent in that book this week. I love it. **Sucks back what was almost typed** I will save those rantings for their designated blog. HOWEVER!
Hehehe(: I feel like such a cheeseball for loving this show with the intensity that I do, but GLEE started last week. Have you seen it yet? Have you? OH, my Lord, it brought me to tears. It always does. I've missed it immensely.

Off to do more reading, following some english, I suppose.
Goodnight, Lovely Readers.