There's this little thing called love that is very real and extremely explosive. It will grab a hold of you and it doesn't like to let you go. It will invade your brain and it will become a part of you like nothing else can. It will seep into places in your heart that you didn't know you had. It will take you over, completely consume you, become fused to the person that you are. And when it ends, even if it is for the best, the person you are will be totally obliterated. You see because it doesn't much matter if the relationship is meant to be or not, while it is, and while you are falling, it's true love that you experience all the same. All the same sparks and all the same bone deep thoughts and passions are there. All of them. The thing that's different is what's at the end of the fuse. Is it a fire cracker or dynamite? Will it be the highlight of your life, or what ends it? Will it be what sustains you, or what destroys you. I'm being destroyed by my own love as we speak. Admittedly, this is what I chose.
Can I ask you a question? Do you think that I can hold onto him and continue to hope for the situation without losing my sanity?
Dear God, what have I done to myself?
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