Until you are in a situation that pertains to the thing you didn't realize. Like for instance, I didn't realize how good the human mind was of spinning a web of lies to trick itself. We, as people, are so good at fooling ourselves into thinking that we believe something we no isn't.
I've come to the conclusion that relationships get confusing for pretty much one reason: selfishness. Here's why, God and love are everything but selfish, right? And God takes no part of confusion. So it's reasonable to say that this is true. Also, for me and in my situation, I knew that the relationship was hopeless. Honestly, I did. But I wanted so badly for it to work because despite how messed up he was, he really loved me. He loved me more than I could ever hope for anyone to love me, even if it was with a love that I didn't really want. I was too selfish and wanted that love too much to see past him into the fact that it wasn't right. It wasn't right at all.
My hope in love and in my capacity to love and in my ability to have a lasting relationship is now restored, for those of you who have been concerned about that. (: God is so good. He brings such a clarity and such a relief that my heart desparately thirsts for. Thank you to all of you who have stood by my side faithfully, I owe you my sanity and my heart. I'm undeserving of the blessings my God has bestowed upon me. (:
<3<3<3
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